Bad News Bears/Nite From Hell

I'm going to put a hiatus on my regular blog style for an undetermined time period. Probably not long. (Here's hoping....).

I went to the doctor again yesterday and this time she admitted it did seem like my gallbladder since the pain wasn't going away. No shit, I told her that last Friday when she seemed to think I was overreacting. Patients aren't as ignorant as they used to be, but doctors don't seem to grasp that yet. I realize self-diagnosing can be misleading or even dangerous, but 9.9 out of 10 times I'm usually right. I think people know what's going on with their own bodies, if even just a little.

I had an xray taken (just to make sure it wasn't my lungs), blood work (all checked out perfectly normal), and then was sent for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed 2 gallstones and my doctor recommended emergency surgery. I REALLY do NOT want surgery, but I keep being told it's really my only option. I'm still not really clear if my pain is caused by the gallstones or if I have an actual inflamed/infected gallbladder or what. It seems like everything came back normal except for the gallstones and a "slight thickening" of the gallbladder, whatever that means. So I don't know. The problem is, I've been running a fever for just under a week now, at least. (That's when I first starting taking my temp).

I'm not a crier by any means, but I can't stop crying, at least not off and on. This is a nitemare. And if that's not bad enough, I had the nite from hell at the ER.

We went to what we thought was the nicest hospital in the area. I got there around 5-ish or so and they took tons more blood, which I pretty much sniffled through the whole time. I know I sound like a baby, but if you saw the bruises they left you'd understand. Maybe I just have sensitive veins or something, but it really hurts me. Especially AFTER.

Then, the same guy who took my blood came by and said he had to give me an IV. For what, I still don't know, since (we soon found out) they weren't planning on doing anything for me anyway. SO unnecessary (not to mention painful). I'd never had an IV before and was crying again, while the tech or whatever he was, was being so rude to me. I think he thought he was being funny. He wasn't. And he was foreign and I could barely understand him part of the time. He also kept saying the pain was all in my head. Yeah, tell that to the bruise that he left ALL over my inner arm from the IV and slight broken skin. I thought most IV's go in your hand anyway? Not that I'm an expert, but something wasn't right. It hurt me, or at least bothered me, the whole time I was there.

The doctor came in and at first seemed OK. His name was Dr. Quach, and on the bulletin board it even said Dr. Quack. I should have known right then and there something wasn't right. He said I was perfectly healthy and could theoretically wait for the surgery. I asked him if it was still 100% that I would need it eventually and he said yes. But he couldn't tell me any guess of when the longest it could be without getting to a dangerous waiting period, etc. My parents eventually convinced me just to tell him to have the surgeon come in last nite and get it over with, against my better judgment. Just so I wouldn't have to go through all the blood tests, iv, etc. again.

Only then did he decide to tell me since it wasn't an emergency, the surgeon would only come in if she felt like it. If she was driving by or something. He called her and she said she'd rather do it outpatient and to just contact her in the next 3 days or so to set up a consultation. He said I could stay overnite for pain control, but that's it. I told him a few minutes ago that was not the option he gave me, and why, if I still had a fever and symptoms, was that not considered an emergency? And why couldn't I just get it over with like I was originally told. He had the audacity to make some comment about how things aren't done on the patients time, they're done on the surgeons time. I don't know if I'm making that sound OK, but I was HIGHLY offended by that. Basically he was saying the patient (ME) has no say or rights to what happens to my own body, it's all up the doctors to decide what's convenient ONLY for them.

As soon as he shut the door I yelled out "asshole." I hope he heard.

He suggested I stay overnite, he'd give me pain control, and maybe the surgeon might come assess me in the morning and consider doing the surgery if I had a fever. I'VE HAD A FEVER SINCE AT LEAST LAST THURSDAY. He claimed my temperature read as 97 degrees when I first came in, even after I told him at least 3 times that no one took my temperature! I also told him I wasn't in pain at the moment, while lying down completely still in a hospital bed, so what would be the point of staying overnite? Then, he basically called me a liar, saying I'm telling him I'm not in pain, but then telling him I wanted the surgery (NO I DON'T WANT IT...) because of pain. UGH. I believe I was clear in telling him at least twice that when I was just laying there I felt OK. A little pressure, but no pain. BUT when I walk around, etc. I do have some pain. He clearly didn't get it. Then he asked AGAIN if I wanted to stay overnite (which he still suggested...wtf?) or if I wanted to go home. I said I want to get out of here. He said he was giving me pain pills to take home and he thought I should take them anyway. Fine, just leave me alone.

It took about another hour before they even released me. Probably the number one reason I wanted to especially leave was to get that damn IV out of my arm. I knew there had to be a reason I was so freaked out by those.

I also hadn't been allowed to eat or drink (not even water) in basically 25 hours. I was so thirsty. And then right before they discharged me one of the guys came in and gave me a giant antibiotic. I asked him if it would hurt my stomach if I took it since I hadn't eaten in over a day. He never said yes or no, just said "I'll bring you some crackers." Aside from the fact that I don't eat gluten-filled crackers, he didn't know that. He never brought me the crackers. Then, he had to take a few vital signs, but didn't take my temperature. I requested he take it before I would leave, because I wanted documented proof that they were letting me leave with a fever. Who knows if he really wrote it down, but it was 101.2. My discharge papers for gallbladder say come BACK if your fever is over 100-ish, yet they let me walk out of there with 101. This was after 9 pm, btw. 4+ hours after we got there. And all they did was torture me for nothing.

I'm a little pissed my doctor made me go to an ER if it wasn't a real emergency, but I'm more pissed the ER would treat me like such. I still don't really know what to do about the fever. The pain is managable, but I'm scared to continue to go around with a fever. My pain pills have a little tylenol, but that's not doing anything.

I still don't feel like I'm fully expressing how rude the (quack) doctor really was, but it was more of a tone/facial thing too, you know? Plus, I could never get over him saying what happens to me isn't up to me or my time. NO bedside manner, I'm telling you. None of the employees really had any. There were a couple of people that I said were kind of nice, but looking back they really weren't, they just weren't complete dicks like him (+ sort of the blood/IV guy). Nobody had ANY empathy whatsoever.

My Mom called the surgeon today for a consultation, but her office said they couldn't work me in until NEXT TUESDAY. That's when I'm supposed to leave for Las Vegas, so I'm REALLY worked up about that too. You don't even know how long I've been looking forward to the trip, all of the money we've invested not only in travel, but shows, etc. And I don't know if we can get any money back if we can't go those dates. And not that this isn't irreversible, but I've made reservations for restaurants, etc. Ones that I spent hours upon hours researching and was REALLY looking forward to trying :(. My Mom told the surgeon's assistant that next week is unacceptable, so they're supposedly seeing what they can do. But it seems like I'm pretty screwed at this point.

Did I mention I REALLY DON'T want surgery? But I also can't live like this. Fuck.

:( :( :(

xo,
Amanda