Pics

Before Pics (aka today):

This is the most I've ever weighed by about 15lbs and I can't stand it (AKA even at 15 lbs less I was NOT happy about it. At all). 

This is what I looked like on my 21st birthday. Although I'd like to ultimately weigh about 15 lbs less than this even, this is approx. what I'd be happier with (OK this + skinnier arms).

&

Or this (when I was 20)

Of course I still wanted to lose weight when I was at both of those weights, so I know I won't be satisfied there, but it's a good start for me. I have to remind myself that I have to start somewhere and that results don't happen overnite. 

I think my biggest annoyance right now (besides my fat arms which I've ALWAYS had) is my hips/love handles. I've never had them before and don't know what to do with them! Hopefully I won't have to figure it out *sigh* Getting rid of backfat (lol) would always be nice too :-P. I know I don't look that bad, but I just feel so...wide?

Plus, after seeing all of my vacation pics I am HORRIFIED. I know I don't have a double chin normally, but in almost every vaca pic I do and it disturbs me GREATLY. I also think a lot of the baggier clothes made me look bigger than I am, but I don't feel like my body is "ready" for more fitted clothes. It's a double edged sword. I don't think I look *as* bad in the before pics I posted above, but some of the trip pics make me just feel...sick. Yet they were only taken a couple days apart. It's gotta mostly be the clothes, but...geez I am so embarrassed by myself. 

For example:

(click to see full size)

(click to see full size)

Of course, then I also have a few pics in the same outfits where I look alright, so blah it sucks how diff pics can be, but how they can really dictate how you feel about yourself.

I'm still not amazed by myself in these, but at least I don't look as HUGE (tho still big by my standards of myself):

(click to see full size)

I also think my face looks really big/fat in EVERY pic (yet not when I look in the mirror for some reason), but I'm really nitpicking now, I know. I guess instead of complaining I should be happy that I'm working hard to eat better and move more to actually DO something proactive about it. I also believe part of the problem (and what is making me look so big in pics) is that I have a 34DD chest (it doesn't really look that big in person tho, I'd say I'm proportionate all over) and also fairly wide shoulders (thanks a lot grandma, lol), but stillll. 

OK I'm off to eat something healthy and quit putting myself down!

XO,

Amanda